Potty Time for Kekoa

Today I had a mom-pants reality check as my son pooped and the first thing I thought to do was update my  Facebook status about it.

Kekoa is now walking for real (to the point that I have to remember shoes if we go anywhere - barefoot is a very hard state-of-mind to change) and with that is coming some other developments.  There is more talking (mom and dad are very definitive words now) and this afternoon I got a very clear signal for using the toilet, which was confirmed by a huge doo-doo/shi-shi combo.

Hey, mom, I need a haircut, too.

Perhaps the reason I get so excited about it and want to talk about it with the world wide web is that I cloth diaper.  Every success on the potty is one less diaper I have to rinse out and wash.  It's one step closer to being free from loads of diaper laundry.  Or maybe I'm just excited because I've spent considerably less time on EC with Koa than I ever did with his brother but he still seems to be picking up on it...or I'm getting better at my part...or a little of both.
  

We have put very minimal effort into Koa and the potty.  I put him on there about once or twice a day - even if nothing happens at least he's used to it and knows that is what a potty is for.  Occasionally, I let him go diaper free in the yard or on the beach.  I change his diaper often so he's not used to sitting around wet/dirty (although it's hardly a choice with cloth).  I like this pace and it seems to be "working" (more or less).
YAY POTTY!  

Two Kids: Day 3

It's now the third day of having 2 kids instead of 1.  Mr A has been spending lots of time with Ikaika and taking him everywhere so I've had time to bond with Koa and get feeding/sleeping/diapering established. 

Breastfeeding is absolutely no easier this time around.  In fact, I would say its been more difficult.  I already have scabs and Koa isn't as ambitious about a bottle so pumping hasn't exactly been my saving grace. 

Sleeping has been alright.  He's a 5lb midget, so he's been sleeping a ton.  I've decided that it is more important for me to sleep than it is to make sure he sleeps in a bassinet.  Therefore, he's been sleeping in bed with us at night.  I have to admit: I like the snuggling.

He fits premie diapers like a glove so I guess I have to stop making fun of my mom for buying them.  Diapering little babies like this is frustrating because they get dirty so often but they aren't "that" dirty.  It's such a little mess!  I've been able to catch a couple poops in the sink - yay EC!  He finally got rid of his sticky black newborn poo today so it's been more manageable.   

Moving Forward with EC

A few months ago I wrote a post about my frustrations with how to transition into the next phase of EC (elimination communication). I am happy to report that we seem to be moving on!

Ikaika is still far from "diaper free", "potty trained" or anything of that nature. But, there have been noticeable changes in the last two months. He has been keeping diapers dry for hours at a time (using the potty instead), diaper laundry is down to about once a week, and last week he used a public toilet! He's even been trying to wipe himself (yikes!) We are also at the point where I can ask "do you need to go shi shi?" and he will either shake his head no (which unfortunately doesn't always mean no) or he will run into the bathroom, put his reducer seat on the toilet, and wait for me. This is our first step towards cooperative toileting and I am stoked!

He still wears a small cloth diaper with a cover because, honestly, 90% of the time I'm just too nervous and/or lazy to deal with training pants. But, if the current momentum continues, I think we could realistically move on to those within the next 6 months.

All the pieces of EC seem to finally be coming together organically. It's nice that this part of his development is being learned in an intuitive way without lots of pressure or decisions - kind of like learning to talk or learning to walk. There's no bargaining or reasoning, it just is what it is: Natural Infant Hygiene.

Staying Conscientious About the Reality of Disposable Diapers

From Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene by Ingrid Bauer.

"Single-use disposable diapers are responsible for about 4 percent of the refuse in North American landfills.  They represent the third-largest single consumer item in landfills (after newspapers and beverage containers) and comprise a staggering one-third of the nonbiodegradable waste.  The word disposable is a misnomer: these diapers do not go away!  The average baby will contribute 2.75 tons of disposable diaper garbage to this heap by the time he is toilet trained.  Once there, these diapers pose a nonbiodegradable health hazard and an ecological nightmare, potentially contaminating surrounding area and water supplies with chemical toxins as well as natural biological pollutants...Even supposedly biodegradable disposables contribute to these environmental problems, since they require light and air, and are usually too compacted, to decompose.  They may take generations to break down, if ever, and still leave bits of plastic behind."

Feeling Very Discouraged about ECing Full Time...

The diaper saga continues.  Mr A bought a(nother!) pack of disposables.  Sigh...  If they are in the house we are going to use them, which is why I try not to buy them.  But now they are just sitting in the closet, taunting me.

I began reading yet another book about EC titled Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene by Ingrid Bauer.

I keep telling myself that I need to make a decision about this.  I either need to move forward with EC or I need to surrender to diapers and just resign myself to the idea of having him in diapers for another year or more (more?!). 

Yesterday I tried leaving him diaper free for the morning and after two misses (and despite two big catches) I found myself all defeated and saying "Oohhh well, this is never going to work.  Back into dipes".
BUT, how can I really say that EC isn't going to work for us if I can't even commit myself to do it for a full week...err...a full day?
 So this morning I tried diaper free (he peed on me) then in a diaper without a cover (he peed in the diaper).  I've caught two half-a-pees in the potty but for some reason this just isn't working!  I feel like I'm just following him around with a towel and cleaning up after him!

He will go in the toilet.  He will sit on a toilet and go, which itself is an accomplishment.  I should be happier about that.  But I want a diaper free baby!  The book says to focus less on the outcome and more on the process.  It should be more about communication and less about elimination.  Maybe the not-instant success is leading me to somehow believe that I'm not "in tune" with my kid (read: crappy mom).

Tomorrow is another day.  Another possibly diaper free morning.  I'm going to go and hunt around the mothering.com EC chat board in hopes of finding an answer.

Ditching the Diapers - Phase Two: Wee Weka Knickers and Small Potty

All great minds think on the pot...


In case you were wondering - he's reading Little Husky's Big Game, a rhyming board book about The Apple Cup (UW vs WSU). I like the book because it uses terminology like "tight end", "nose guard", "screen", and "that punt's got hang time". Precious and educational. Ickey likes it because it combines his two great loves: dogs and football.

Notice the infant toilet. No baby bjorn but it is two pieces, easy to clean, and whimsical without being annoying.


So here are some training pants I made using the super SIMPLE tute for Wee Weka Knickers over at The Nappy Network.
Id like to thank my mother for sending me two shirts that no grown woman could ever hope to fit into! One shirt, as small as they were, made two pairs of knickers. I lined them with microfiber cloths I had in my diaper stash.


Even thought this material is surprisingly sturdy, I would like to try making trainers with PUL or some other water proofing material on the outside. The baby is far FAR from using the potty consistently so I'm trying to find the perfect compromise between full blown diapers and underwear.

I also want to figure out how to make one of these piddle pad things for the car seat! Although for 8 bucks - I should save myself some sanity and just buy the damn thing for Christmas.

Infant Toilet Training - Phase Two

Lately, I feel like Ikaika and I have hit a plateau with the potty.

For those who don't follow my life religiously - I cloth diaper my now one year old and have been using the basic principles of Elimination Communication with varying degrees of commitment since 2 weeks old. He began sitting on the toilet using a little seat insert when he was about 3 months.

Since he started eating solid foods and (more or less) sleeping through the night, his digestive system has become increasingly predictable. Therefore, I feel like now is the time to take this whole potty thing to the next level.

But where is the next level?

My number one frustration is that I dont feel like Ikaika is communicating with ME about the potty. Ideally, I want him to be able to let me know if he wants to go. Go into the bathroom, point at the potty, grap at his crotch, anything that would give me a clue as to what hes thinking. Usually, catching anything in the toilet feels like sheer luck. Also, now that his communication skills are improving I want him to be able to spend at least part of his day in cotton underwear and/or training pants.

He already cooperates with sitting on the toilet, he has peed and pooed in the potty (as long as I get him there), doesnt seem to be scared of flushing, etc. Can I really expect any more from a 12 month old?


According to this book I read yesterday, the answer is yes. Diaper Free Before 3 by Dr Jill Lekovic presents a theory that is somewhere between "diehard EC" and "wait till they are ready". I think this book is very in sync with my own thoughts about potty training.

The new ideas I took away from this book are as follows:

1) now that Ikaika is older and more regular, its time to start treating the potty as part of our daily routine. Just like feeding, dressing and bathing, I need to incorporate trips to the toilet into other activities for the day. After he wakes up, after he eats, before bath, before bed. I need to be more consistent about offering the toilet to him instead of just doing it whenever I think about it.

2) Its time for an infant potty. Sure, he can sit on the seat insert and use it without much problem. But a toilet that is his size will enable him to sit on it or go to it without my assistance. It will make the toilet more accessible to him. He can also mimic - go to the potty at the same time as Mr A or myself - a technique thats worked like a dream for teeth brushing.

3) I have to be able to take the plunge and put him in training pants. Ive been doing it all morning today with surprisingly uneventful results! Because he already uses cloth diapers, training pants are more about training ME to be aware of what hes doing and not rely so much on diapers.

Charmed, Im sure

My Lenten promise is to give up the agenda pushing on Ickey's baby blog and start blogging about the baby. Here goes...

Happy on the potty. I honestly didnt help the hair at all - it was just like that.

I will once again say, for the record, that Ikaika is a "happy baby". Of course he has his moments, some days he has more moments than others, but overall he's just a happy little guy. Whenever Im out in public with him, no matter where the location, someone will inevitably comment on how "striking" his eyes are or come up to him and smile, coo, whatever. As if on cue, this kid will start smiling and cracking up and laughing. Its adorable! He's happy at home too (today, for example, he kept himself occupied for almost an hour inspecting/talking to the rug) but he really puts on a show in public. I appreciate his efforts.

Here he is, once again, entertaining himself by trying to somehow apprehend the physio-ball. He just kept pushing it away and it would roll back and bop him in the face and he would scream laughing. Too cute.

Mr A (and dozens of other people) continually describes Ikaika as being "a charmer" or "very charming".

And suddenly, as if by magic, my parents rule about "no boys in rooms that have doors" makes perfect sense...

Milestones! We have milestones!

In the past few days weve had a lot of "firsts". Was it truly the very first time these things happened? Thats hard to say. A lot of this development stuff is a process and the process begins with something small and builds slowly day by day. But the baby book wants me to give dates for "firsts" so I have to assign certain days to certain things. Usually Ill count it as a first if its executed in a manner that would lead me to believe he always could do it and just chose not to before that moment.

We have rolling over, which you can tell Im surprised I so easily caught on video. Yesterday was really the first day that rolling was performed with this kind of speed and frequency. Weve had variations of rolling since shortly after birth but nothing that demonstrated this kind of consistency.

(please ignore my rude snapping)

Ikaika is not a one trick pony. He also can stand with help. This began as "pushing off" (like when he is crouching in your lap he will straighten his legs and sort of bounce up) and has progressed to what I would consider bonefide standing with assistance. He will stand for a few seconds and then a knee will buckle and he will crash, but its still assisted standing. Mr A worries this will cause him to be bow legged so we havent encouraged standing as much.

He has discovered his toes. I was ECing him yesterday morning and he just popped his feet in his mouth. This was fine at the moment but when we were done and I put him back down, he was really upset that the feet were gone. So later, during Baby Einstien (I know, I know...but we had to put away groceries) we noticed that he was going after his feet with the renewed vigor of a boy who understands that toes are fun. This video isnt quite as thrilling as the last one, but the frustrated sigh at the end is really cute.

Finally, he has discovered his "junk". Last night, during a diaper change, my baby grabbed his lil alas. Mr A was delighted. I have never seen a man beam with such pride. He ran around the apartment chanting "I love having a son!" and insisted that I blog about this momentous event. It reminded me of something my midwife told me, "once they find 'em, its a lifelong, unbreakable bond". Gross. I dont get it. Must be a guy thing.

Pee and Sleep

A lot of people have been asking me about Ikaikas sleeping so Im going to state it for the record here.

He will usually go to sleep between 9 and 11pm. Meaning, he goes down when we go down. Now, is he going down because we are or vice versa, I do not know. I just know thats about when he knocks out. Then he will wake up anywhere around 4 to 6am and want to eat. We feed him, change him and put him back to sleep. Rare is the night when he wont go directly back to sleep once he is fed and changed. Then he stays down until between 8 and 10am.

Its not a terrible schedule. If he takes long naps during the day then he will usually be easier to put to bed at night (Granny said it best "the longer they sleep, the better they sleep"). If he doesnt nap well then things can get wild at night.

Before he was born I was pretty confident about having him on a certain schedule, convinced by the book that it was the only thing that could possibly be good for him. So am I traumatizing him now by leaving it up to chance? Will he develop major sleep issues later and will I regret not being more strict? Will I, godforbid, wonder if I should have put my own selfish needs and schedule aside for his wellbeing during his infancy?

I doubt it. And if I do end up saying later that I regret not scheduling his sleep the way the book told me to, you can just remind me that there is no possible way I could do it given my current living situation (impossible to make this place dark and I dont have a crib anyhow).

EC is becoming trickier for a multitude of reasons but mostly because Ive been lazier about it. Also, he is getting too heavy to hold over the sink for great lengths of time. He will sit on his potty seat but Ive only caught a handful (NOT literally) of doodoos or pees in the toilet since we moved here. Ive been meaning to spend an entire day diaper-free and see how it goes. Maybe tomorrow.
However, yesterday was exciting because he went swimming (screaming) at Mauna Lani and so he was naked in his carseat with a diaper under him for the ride home (he fell asleep on the way to the car and I didnt want to wake him up by putting a diaper on him). When we stopped at a gas station he woke up and was fussing so I checked him and THE DIAPER WAS DRY so I took him out and ECed him right there and he peed outside the car. It was rad.

Good Morning Blog Readers!

Im going to start calling this The Poop Baby Blog.

So back to the topic of my sons bowel movements...

I realized last night that I havent changed a really poopful diaper for quite awhile. Thank you EC. But on that same line of thought - Ikaika has developed a little diaper rash thing. Not like full blown toddler diaper rash (those are gnarly) more like just redness and callousness between the cheeks. Problem is that Im not sure where the redness is coming from. Hes not sitting in poo, as I explained earlier. We use cloth during the day but Mr A insists that he will sleep better if hes in 'sposies. So which is causing the sore-butt syndrome?

In regards to treating the symptoms: This morning I sat him in a little tub full of sitz herbs and baking soda. It seemed to help the irritation and he smelled good afterwards. Ive used Balmex and it didnt do much except get all over my hands. Gross. Lano-something was of a nicer consistency and seemed to make his skin soft but I only had a sample packet and its gone now. Mr A has been putting A&D on him (you know those old men and their A&D) even though I keep telling him that stuff has fish oil in it and its going to make the diapers stink. No one listens to me...

Good Lord, Mom, leave me alone!

You cant exactly tell in these pics but hes getting big, as babies do. Our neighbors granddaughter is a little over 3 months and shes still smaller than he is (then again, in this neighborhood, the mothers lifestyle choices may be called into question). I hope he slows down a little or Im going to need a weight belt just to get him in and out of his bassinet! Ohhh my back!

cock-eyed baby love

Gas Powered

Last night was a winner. Not.

I dont know if it was the chicken enchilada casserole or what but last night/this morning was like sobby screaming babyfest. It was so unnerving. He was just inconsolable. I changed his diaper 10 times. I nursed him and he only bit me and pulled my boob off. He wouldnt even go in his sling! I rocked him. I cursed him. I almost cried.

My conclusion is that Ikaika is gassy. I sort of already knew this because 1) his kukae has been bubbly (one of the benefits of EC - I can see these things) and 2) my midwife told me as much. I got some Gripe Water at Target the other day and gave him some last night/this afternoon. It seemed to help somewhat. Its just terrible to listen to him scream and thrash around. Breaks my heart. Gets on my nerves too.

Not to be vulgar but he hasnt had very many big poos here today, maybe 2 in the last 24 hrs. Although the last two times I have offered him the bucket Ive been startled by some pretty earth shattering noises coming from his lower half. His diapers have been poo-free but weve had multiple productive farts. I think its safe to say that "hes got some stuck shit" (quoted husband).

So what do you make of all this? What should I be eating? Is there anything you can do for a gassy baby who has "stuck shit"? Would sucking on a pacifier help? Should he be on his back or his tummy when hes awake? Does it make a difference? Should I nurse him if hes gassy or just wait until he feels better? Is he gassy because Im nursing him too often? If it was something I ate should I pump & dump my milk or just let it be?

Any contributions to solving this problem would be appreciated.

Elimination Communication aka Bucket Training

Elimination Communication (EC for short) isnt really potty training. Because lets face it, its totally ridiculous to think you could potty train a newborn babe. EC is a way of teaching the baby to be aware of his shishi and doodoo. Because lets face it, its totally ridiculous to spend 2-3 years teaching a kid to crap his pants and then expecting him to do otherwise.

So we have been ECing part time. I havent gotten up the gusto to commit to a full day of no diaper. I think when we live someplace a bit warmer Ill give that a go. For now we offer Ika the opportunity to shishi/doodoo at the most convenient times for us. During a diaper change or right after he wakes up are the best times to catch something.

Heres how it works: we "offer the bucket" by holding him under this thighs in a modified squat and then we cue him by making a "psst" sound. The cue is supposed to help him know its time to relax his bowels or bladder. And we just hold him there over the sink/bucket/toilet and talk to him or cue him until he goes or until we give up.

I would say that 4 out of 5 times we will get something for our efforts. Sometimes we get both #1 and #2, which is rad. Other times I get one or the other and then I put a diaper on him and whichever one I didnt get in the bucket is now in the diaper (so frustrating!). Yet another option is nothing happening, but thats less likely since we only EC at the most opportune times.

If you could only see how excited Mr A gets when we catch something - something BIG - in the sink...you would think we are insane. Tonight we went to a volleyball game at Clackamas CC and I was changing his diaper in the restroom. Well, since it was right there I offered him the potty and he went! In a public bathroom! Its a portable skill! Very exciting stuff.

So why are we doing this? Well, for starters its fun/cool to think that your kid can pee on command (which, by the way, isnt exactly what he is doing - but its fun to think it is).
The main reason I wanted to try the way of the bucket was OF COURSE to save money. Because Im a miser. Im frugal. Im German. If you could figure out how to do this full time imagine what you would save from never using diapers! Unreal. For the time being, Ive been using a system that is like part cloth, part disposable and part bucket. He still soils a ton of diapers but think how many more I would be changing if every shishi I caught in the toilet went into a dipe instead! The proof is in the pudding and weve gone through almost 2 packs of disposable dipes since he was born. Thats about 80 diapers in 3 weeks. I think thats below average.

Oh and by the way... Cloth diapers, in my opinion, are NOT as hard as people want to make them seem. The technology of cloth nowadays means that if I had the money I would be using the tricked out cloth dipes and they would be stupid easy. Ive been using mostly recycled tshirt diapers and regular ole prefolds and I would still consider it to be very easy. And when you use cloth diapers theres no reason to not use cloth wipes, too. Throw it in a bucket and when the bucket gets full throw that in the washer.

Mr A, who did the cloth thing 15+ years ago, is in love with Snappis and commented several times on how great they are. Of course, they only work with prefolds or something of similarly woven fabric (NOT tshirt dipes) but I would recommend Snappis to people who want to do cloth.