Feeling Very Discouraged about ECing Full Time...

The diaper saga continues.  Mr A bought a(nother!) pack of disposables.  Sigh...  If they are in the house we are going to use them, which is why I try not to buy them.  But now they are just sitting in the closet, taunting me.

I began reading yet another book about EC titled Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene by Ingrid Bauer.

I keep telling myself that I need to make a decision about this.  I either need to move forward with EC or I need to surrender to diapers and just resign myself to the idea of having him in diapers for another year or more (more?!). 

Yesterday I tried leaving him diaper free for the morning and after two misses (and despite two big catches) I found myself all defeated and saying "Oohhh well, this is never going to work.  Back into dipes".
BUT, how can I really say that EC isn't going to work for us if I can't even commit myself to do it for a full week...err...a full day?
 So this morning I tried diaper free (he peed on me) then in a diaper without a cover (he peed in the diaper).  I've caught two half-a-pees in the potty but for some reason this just isn't working!  I feel like I'm just following him around with a towel and cleaning up after him!

He will go in the toilet.  He will sit on a toilet and go, which itself is an accomplishment.  I should be happier about that.  But I want a diaper free baby!  The book says to focus less on the outcome and more on the process.  It should be more about communication and less about elimination.  Maybe the not-instant success is leading me to somehow believe that I'm not "in tune" with my kid (read: crappy mom).

Tomorrow is another day.  Another possibly diaper free morning.  I'm going to go and hunt around the mothering.com EC chat board in hopes of finding an answer.

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