Hapai i ka Ho`ike!

Pregnant at the Hula Show (this past Saturday in Vancouver).


Hormones. Or so they say...

Hormones. We all have 'em. We are told that pregnant woman have more than most.

But, then again, we are also told that pregnant woman will vomit on sight of fish and that they will eat a gallon of ice cream with taco bell on top at midnight. Neither of which I have done (so far).

So, when I get all crabby and irritable and pissy and moody, I have to wonder, 'is it me? or the hormones?'

I have always been a crabby, irritable, pissy, moody person to some extent. Although, Id like to think that as maturity has finally begun to set it I have become slightly more rational. I get depressed and have "suffered from depression" in the past (lest we all forget the dark ages of college, middle school and some choice months here and there in between). But in the last few years Ive been feeling good. In fact Ive been feeling downright awesome 90% of the time. And the other 10% Im usually able to get over it without issue. This, of course, is contingent on certain conditions, such as sobriety...

Anyhow - on with the story. Sunday was day-from-hell. I'm not going to get into it in this post - but Friday night I missed my surprise baby shower (much to my surprise) so I was devestated about that for starters. I was also tired, which didnt help.

Mr As youngest youngster was over at our house and, even though I had spent the entire morning moping around in my pajamas, I indulged her in both shrinky dink and melty bead fun. Then I guess I hit a wall or something because suddenly I just did not want to be around small children. Maybe its because I spend all week working with small children of the exact same age demographic doing the exact same projects and dealing with mostly the exact same issues. Or maybe I was just having a tough morning. But, either way, I was going to pull my hair out - she was driving me bananas with her incessant questions and her demands of indepenence. Sorry kid but you are too young to use a hot iron without assistance! So I retreated to my "craft lair" (the babys room with the comfortable gliding chair) and started crochetting (yep, I took that up again because now I have to catch up on shower gifts). Still, this girl would not leave me alone! Try as Mr A might to get her attention on other fun things, like washing the dog or playing with nunchucks in the living room, she just kept coming in and asking what I was doing, if she could do it too, etc.

Now, under normal circumstances I would think this is cute and be all excited about winning the house-wide popularity contest. Which is why, in retrospect, I am shocked by how irritated I was getting. Grr. Leave me alone kid!

Well, I survived. We ate lunch and she was returned to the custodial parent. But this wasnt the end of my agony. Compounded with the guilt I felt for not being grateful of Mini As innocent curiosity about myself and my child-magnetism, was the general doldrums of the entire morning. I unloaded myself on the couch and commensed with the pity party.

As I sat there whining and crying about my baby shower that would never be and how small children get on my nerves, I started to wonder, 'is this hormones? Why am I still sitting on this couch?'

There was a moment when the conversation looked like this:

Crazy Pregnant Lady: You dont understand, she is so needy! She was like unable to entertain herself and she was wanting to do everything. No patience. Kids have no patience. Ugg! Why doesnt anyone understand?

Mr A: I'm going to play volleyball in the park. Want to come with? We can ride bikes.

CPL: OH MY GOD DONT LEAVE ME! (crying) You dont understand. I need you to listen to my feelings! WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE ME IN THIS STATE?!

Mr A: Are you feeling needy right now?

CPL: (sobbing) I AM PREGNANT! Boo hoo hoo...

And that is the moment, folks, where I realized how utterly ridiculous I am. The irony of Mr As question did not escape me for a second.

So after a long, drawn out ordeal, I finally pulled myself off the couch. I think the straw that broke the camels back was the point where I started to think about how pathetic I was 10+ years ago and thats why no one wants to be my friend right now, etc... At that point I was like 'woah, dude. get off the couch and go on the stupid bike ride. you will thank yourself later'.
So I did. And I did.

Moral of the story is I dont know if its being pregnant and hormonal or if its just being myself, but Sunday totally sucked.


So what have YOU been doing for the past 7 months?

Me? Ive been making baby stuff! The following is just a small sample of the extensive layette I have been preparing for my child-to-be.

*as an afterthought: if you see anything here that you would like (or if you would like it but youd like it better if it were different) feel free to contact me. Im always for hire!*

If your computer cant take the heat, youd better get the hell out of the kitchen!


This is what did it for me. This is the previously mentioned sweater that put a halt to all other knitting, at least for now. Its made with Lion Brand Vanna's Choice - 100% acrylic (thanks Vanna White!) and coconut wood buttons. The islands are duplicate stitch.


I picked up this fabric last time we were in Hawaii. I like the subtle references to longevity. There are brown cordoroy pockets on the sides (I chopped up an IZOD skirt after I finally came to terms with the fact that I will never fit into it) and the lining is some crazy fabric my mom gave me. It also has a detatchable changing pad, which I took a picture of for your convenience. The fleece blanket inside was also "made" by me but it wasnt impressive enough to merit its own picture (youll notice its SPORTS - youre welcome).


Front and back views of reused T-shirts. The brown one was Curtis' long sleeve shirt and is now babys long sleeve shirt with an envelope style collar. The black one was another Curtis shirt that is now a snap front style short sleeve shirt (would we consider this baseball style?). It also has shiny red top stitching but you probably cant tell from these pictures. The blue sleeper is my old SHAPE (Student HIV/AIDS Peer Educators) shirt from high school. Its a zip front with an elastic bottom. I heard that makes late night diaper changes/bucket runs that much easier. The hat is made from a UVA mens lacrosse shirt. It has a little topknot - adorable!


I picked up this fabric in Vanuatu when we were on our honeymoon. So its technically melenesian as opposed to polynesian but its cute irregardless. The fabric is super thin cotton (Vanuatu is super hot) so I used wool batting. Washable wool batting. Its also lined with red flannel so it will be just right for football season! I tried to up the masculinity by using black rick-rack for the trim. Mr A likes it because red & black are his favorite colors.

#5 Various Other Things

Some other things. A pair of booties that I havent finished since I went on knitting strike (thats up in the righthand corner - this pic is kind of dark) Made with Astra yarn. I think Im going to add pompoms to the back of the cuff. Then we have a grey fleece hat with buttons from my jean jacket. Looks like a hat Mr A wears all the time, except his is brown. Some lounge pants made from a Virginia T-shirt. They are newborn size but I am a little skeptical. Seems big to me. A onesie that I decorated with Alpha Phi Omega goodness. You cant see this but I puffy painted crystal glitter around the letters. Then a leopard print fleece sleep sack. I actually made this LOOOONG before I got preggo - I consider leopard to be a "neutral".


Nursery Rhymes

I have been crafting. I have been crafting like a woman gone mad.

Before I became pregnant, I told myself that I would spend 9 months joyfully knitting sweaters and crocheting layettes for my first-born child. So when we conceived our little miracle I set to work right away on some booties, etc. I got through my first baby sweater (which is really cute and I will post a picture of eventually) and I realized that knitting a sweater, even if its for a small person, takes a long time! Not only that, but my child will only be able to wear it for 2-4 months at best! Thats a short shelf life for something that takes so damn long to make. And what do I do with the sweater once he no longer fits into it? Doll clothes? Nice try. More likely than not, my husband wont be letting his only son play dress up with dolls! Hand me downs? Sure. But then we run into the same problem a few years down the road.

Obviously my plan was foolish. It is far more practical to purchase already made knit items for babies. Although, the irony is I still like making yarn-craft GIFTS for other people's children. Something about how I wont actually be a witness to the impracticality of it all makes the gifted knit item easier to come to terms with. At this point, its not just sweaters - its hats and booties and everything. I simply can not bring myself to fashion any more things out of yarn for this baby.

Picture of the nursery as it looks today. Notice the blue towel that Mr A hung up, which incidentally has flowers on it.

That being said, I have been crafting all over the place. I just found a new medium. Enter, my birthday present from Granny. A brand-spankin' new Viking sewing machine. (cue choir music) I have made a valance, pillow covers, a bumper, a curtain, a diaper bag, shirts, shorts, hats, blankets, etc. When I sit in front of the machine and listen to its gentle hum, squint into its tiny light bulb, I feel a calm wash over me. The kind of calm only a state of complete euphoria (or insanity) can bring about. I fall into a sort of creation-induced trance and fully surrender myself to whatever project is in front of me. I am completely absorbed and 100% resistant to all distraction. Its creepy. Mr A thinks Im scary when Im in THE ZONE.

My favorite projects are taking Mr As old shirts and resizing them to baby size. All his shirts are in some way, whether directly or indirectly, related to Hawaii.* I guarantee you that all Hawaiian shirts made specifically for small children are cheesy. So this is fun for me because it provides me with an opportunity to make cute yet cool Ts for my little guy. And I think in some sick way Mr A really relishes in the idea that he and his son could potentially wear "matching" outfits.
Puke. I know.

*momentarily you will come to the part of the story where this is important, but please note that almost all of my husband dress shirts have flowers in the design

As a result of my craft rampage (and my choice of fabric), my husband and I got into a disagreement about where the priority lies for decorating a babys room. In my opinion, the room should be something I want to look at. From what I understand a baby cant see further than about 8 inches in front of his adorable little face. Why would I be decorating to suit his needs? Or, more likely, what Babys R Us is telling me his needs are? Furthermore, babies have no predisposition for one theme over another, so in theory I could cover the walls with pictures of garbage cans as long as they are interesting to look at. Frankly, I would rather wait until the kid is older (say, able to sleep in a twin bed age) and then find out what his opinion is about room themes, if any.

Mr A, however, feels that his son should be basking in the glory of all things blue and sports related, despite the fact that (I feel) it comes off as "cutesy". I get the sports thing - but why blue? I dont fully understand why that particular color won the boy lottery. Isnt olive green close enough?

Anyhow, I decided to go with something "Hawaiian", naively believing that this would appease my impossible to please spouse. No luck. We endlessly battled about how many flowers was too many flowers and whether the absence of sports paraphernalia would make our little boy shy away from the field of competition 8+ years down the road. Finally, with paint and canvas, I struck a compromise. Here it is:

Note to those out there who would like to go for a Hawaiian themed nursery and are also encountering The Great Flowers-In-My-Boys-Room Debate: Petroglyphs and tattooesque patterns have been much more warmly received in this household. Sure, it will take hours upon hours of mind numbing stenciling, but the end result would probably be pretty cool and still ultra masculine. There are other manly Hawaiian trinkets like kukui nuts, hokulei'a boats, ikaika helmets, etc. I personally think most of these things are either a) too drab or b) too scary for small children - but I am certain they would cause absolutely no friction between you and your super-MAN of a spouse!


A Blog is Born

So Mr A has been hounding me recently to send out an update on the baby and how "our pregnancy" (sorry if that makes you want to gag) is going. And I was going to do just that...

However, I was inspired by my college friend/lacrosse teammate, Abbie, and her blog All About Sam. Not to mention that when I was keeping up with Terms of Indifference I got a lot of positive feedback from far-away relatives and the like, especially during my work and travels in Asia.

I have created The Arrayan Baby Blog so that everyone who so desires can keep up with the latest news about Mr A, me, and our little kanaka-in-the-making.

And just so you dont go away feeling disappointed - here's a picture of me in all my pregnant glory.