As most of you probably already know, neither my parents nor my grandparents were/are divorced so Im not exactly reporting from the lion's den. I think the mystery of divorce is what makes it so frightening for me. I know its possible to make a marriage work - Ive seen it done and understand that neither love nor luck is the deciding factor - but some part of me always wonders if Im strong enough to make mine work "no matter what".
Being married to a man who is divorced only exacerbates these insecurities. And even though I support his decision, I dont think Ill ever truly accept his reasons for doing it.
Im mad about watching their whole "thing" change over the course of the show. It bothers me because I wonder if that could be me in ten years. I think that I identified with a lot of the values they talked about on the show and wonder if I could change so much in just a few years. Could I wake up one day in five years and find that I have totally abandoned all my ideals?
My mom once told me that talking about your values is easy, living your values is harder than hard. Her advice was to keep your mouth shut and just work on being the best person (wife, mother, daughter, sister) you can be!
Although I agree that divorce is selfish, I don't agree that the selfish person is always the one who initiates the divorce. Sometimes it's the non-selfish person who initiates the divorce caused by the person who is selfish. There is no recourse for the "victim" except to divorce from a person who doesn't want to work things out but wants to continue being a selfish person because the status-quo situation benefits them.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I don't think Kate is an angel devoid of all responsibility but I do think that Jon's selfishness (i.e. cheating) forces, in this case, Kate, to have no other recourse.
If one person doesn't want to make the effort to make things work, then the other person has no other choice. Effort needs to be made on both sides and that's not something you can force.
Thats so funny! I had to go back and re-read my post to make sure I wasnt taking sides!
ReplyDeleteI actually dont think either Jon or Kate is more to blame than the other. Frankly, I dont know enough about their situation to make an opinion either way.
But I would guess that if they are like 99% of people getting divorced nowadays, more likely than not they both just had enough and gave up (ie, selfish).
But like I said in the Kris Jenner post, Im not judging - just making observations.
I think people want to stay married but they dont want to have to change in order to do that. Or at least they dont want to make any changes they arent happy about.
Haha...dream on!
Yeah, I do agree that both Kate and Jon probably contributed to the downfall of their marriage.
ReplyDeleteBut, I truly believe there are situations where divorce is unavoidable. Unless you would prefer annulment in those cases which is technically not divorce.