Although I love my job at the coffee shop - meeting almost everyone in town, unlimited hand-crafted beverages, and being able to work nights - lately, I've been feeling so down about it. I just don't find it fulfilling or meaningful.
Being that I've usually worked with schools and non-profits, I've come to expect a certain level of do-gooder type satisfaction from my job. I'm not getting that from being a barista. Sure, it helps to pay for car insurance and Ikaika's preschool (which is going super duper, by the way), but I'm not terribly keen on trading my time and talent for money alone.
I've come to a point, again, where I'm starting to feel antsy about going back to work for real. Next year both the boys will be in preschool and I can start working during the day, which means my options for employment will open up considerably. I find myself day-dreaming and fixating on this as I ho-hum through my nights at work...must I really be so impatient?
I'm caught in the classic trap of comparing apples to oranges. I'm assuming that my job at the coffee shop is my "real job", when it's not. That type of employment is just a way to make ends meet every month. My "real job" is being a mother, a wife, a keeper of the house. I am the accountant, nanny, personal chef, nutritionist, religious leader, tailor, dictator, all-in-one. The coffee shop is like my hobby.
As the time approaches for me to start filling out applications for programs that begin next fall, I should take a moment to sit back and appreciate all that I've done in my 5 years of housewife-ing. I do have a meaningful job, the most meaningful job I'll ever have. I should do it to the best of my ability and at least try to lay some groundwork so that it doesn't all fall apart once I accept a more time/energy consuming position in the years to come.