Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe my feelings of lately. I had no idea it was going to be this challenging.
The old adage "sleep when your kids sleep" only applies if they both sleep at the same time. My kids appear to tag-team the sleep thing.
Koa is too small and new to be out and about in the windy/chilly/drizzly weather of Waimea. But Ikaika is too big and energetic to be confined to our small apartment all day.
Ikaika has also phased into the "terrible twos" overnight. Nothing says frustrating like having to interrupt breastfeeding 6 or 7 times in order to put a toddler in time out, again.
As if I didn't have enough to worry about, I also seem to be having a periodic life crisis. This is the time when I start to wonder what I'm going to do with my life and reflect on how I haven't done enough and how everyone else is so accomplished and here I am, enjoying life but not really contributing anything of value to society. Boo hoo.
Of course, I was spoiled for the first month. I had Mr A home for several days until my mom swooped in and took over helping. Now I'm struggling to hit my stride. I need to figure out the rhythm. Ikaika and I had a good thing going - we had a schedule that worked for both of us and was fairly consistent. Koa threw a cog in the wheel and I haven't been able to quite figure out how to balance it all yet. A two-year-olds needs, a newborns needs, the needs of the house, the needs of my husband and - MOST IMPORTANT - the needs of myself. Good lord, it took me 4 hours today just to figure out how I was going to get dressed and eat!
Let me say this - I have learned from the experience of others that it is necessary for mommy to be somewhat selfish. If I'm not taking care of myself, how can I take care of everyone else? If I don't take the time or make the time to rest, eat, and treat myself I am going to end up a hot mess of frazzled nerves. I'll be screaming at Kaika, not making enough milk for Koa and bitching at Mr A every time he walks through the door.
On that note, I am going to go enjoy my hot tea and hop on the stationary bike...after I make Ikaika some lunch.