The other night as I was breastfeeding and staying up with Ikaika (hes not fussy or upset, just awake) I watched a marathon of Paris Hilton is My New BFF "on demand". You knew it was just a matter of time. I mean, there is no way I was going to be able to avoid that show. What a bunch of mindless garbage! Much like The Hills marathon around this time of last year* - I was totally entranced.
*Havent watched The Hills since. Much like BFF, I cant handle crap in small doses.
Which leads to my blog topic - HATERS.
There was a girl on the show who was trying to justify how an acquaintance had accused her of being an enormously vapid sausage wallet in front of Paris. She proceeds to explain that shes always encountering "haters" and people are always "filling their mouth with my name" ...or something like that. She goes on to shed tears and recall with great pain how she used to come home from school and tell her mom that she doesnt want to be pretty anymore because the other kids dont like her. Maybe the other kids didnt like you because those are the thoughts that come out of your mouth. Just a theory.
As I laid in bed that night, my mind numb and mushy from hours staring at the shiny plastic flock of Hilton, I wondered what makes someone a "hater?" What makes a "hater" different from someone that just hates you?
Take Avril Lavigne (is that how you spell it?). I am a bonefide Avril Lavigne "hater". I hate on Avril Lavigne. I dont hate Avril - I hate on her - and here is the difference. I dont like a single thing about Avril. I dont like her music, her image, her voice, her husband, her hair, makeup, teeth, etc. You name it - I hate it. And yet, for some reason, I am uncontrollably drawn to seeking her out. When her videos come on the tv - I look at them...carefully. When her music plays in the store - I listen...intently. If she is in a magazine - I read it. And so on.
The point is that even though I dont like anything about Avril Lavigne, I go out of my way to expose myself to her because it gives me more information to support my own contempt. I want to know everything about her life so I can scrutinize it and judge it and decide it sucks. This, in fact, makes me a "hater".
Now lets look at someone like, oh say, John Mayher (is that how you spell it?). I read an article in Rolling Stone or some other magazine a long time ago where John Mayher was talking about being fluent enough in Japanese to be able to tell people off/eavesdrop of conversations after taking only high school courses (yeah right!) and fingering his girlfriend on the school bus. Puke. So I dont like John Mayher. If his video is on - I turn it off. If I hear his song - I tune it out. If I see him on a magazine cover - I leave that garbage on the shelf.
The point again is that because I truly hate John Mayher I completely ignore his existence. I dont acknowledge him as far as I can avoid it and only recently have I been able to enjoy the cover of Your Body is a Wonderland that our friends band sings. (Its always bothered me that Kaloku sings John Mayher material - but their voices are well matched and I guess the song is nice if its not sung by JM himself).
When you actually hate/dislike someone or something, you ignore them and couldnt possibly care less about what they think or do because its so darn unimportant and uninteresting. When you are being a "hater" or "hating on" someone or something, you seek out the details in hopes of finding raw material you can use to further your own mission of hating them more.
So when we examine the acrimonious relationships we inevidably have in our lives, are we just "hating" or are we "haters"?
Ill let you gnaw on that for awhile. TTYL.