I have been meaning to blog about this for awhile. I was so angry, pissed off about it like three months ago and I never got around to writing anything down. So now here we are a few months later and I almost dont care anymore. But for the sake of being provocative I will try to muster up some of those long lost feelings...
I was reading People magazine (the journal of modern American consumerism) and I came across this blurb about Tori Spelling being pregnant with her second kid complete with pictures of her lounging poolside in a bikini, ethereally holding her belly and gazing into space like she was hopped up on morphine. In this article she talks about how wonderful being pregnant is (and I agree with that so no hard feelings there) but then she goes off about how with her first kid she gained *gasp* 30ish pounds but now this time she got her shit together, shes only gained 25 lbs and it all went to her "big beautiful belly" (or something equally asinine).
God I could have just screamed! Im not stupid enough to buy into the things they are selling me in People - but some women are. I am the peoples pregnancy champion! I should fight for those who dont yet understand that they should fight for themselves. GAINING ALL YOUR PREGNANCY WEIGHT IN YOUR BELLY IS BIOLOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE! Tori Spelling, whether she meant to be or not, is a damned liar! We all saw the pictures of her first pregnancy! Weve seen the ones from this one! She gained weight from her eyeballs to her ankles!
And, frankly, theres nothing wrong with that, if thats how her body is going to do it. I guess thats why the article got me so steamed. We have pregnant women running around now who are scared of "doing it wrong" because Tori Spelling, who has the luxury of being able to have any questionable evidence airbrushed, is telling us that the impossible is, in fact, possible.
When did we as a culture become so fascinated with negotiating other peoples method of bearing children? Its not even the pregnancy or the reverence for life or the empowerment of birth that we are so desperate to consume. If those were the issues at stake here I would be excited to be writing this. We as a culture are fascinated with picking women apart. judging their choices, counting down their days to weight loss and approving (begrudgingly) of only the most outlandishly perfect deliveries.
So now that its vogue to hold "the media" responsible for all of our societal problems - where does that leave a woman who just wants to have a "normal" pregnancy? Does she do what feels right for her? Does she carefully calculate her every move, trying to gain those 25 lbs in her belly and anything that strays to her upper arms must be chalked up to her own pathetic lack of self control? Should she go the other way, tossing her hands in the air saying "fuck it" and just do whatever her heart desires?
I pitch my tent in Camp Everything In Moderation.
Subsequently, I park my RV in Camp Eff You Tori Spelling.