that title seems a bit more provocative than I originally intended...
We had an appointment with midwife Beth on Friday. I wanted her to check on the progress of this baby since my mom and Granny have been demanding cold, hard facts over ambiguous statements such as "everything is going well".
Heres the news, dear loved ones:
I am (or I was as of Friday) dilated 2cm and about 50% effaced. Dont know what that means? Thats because it doesnt mean anything! Really, she could have told me that I was 8cm dilated and that still wouldnt be any indication of how much longer we have until he shows up. She also estimated that the baby is about 7.5lbs.
SEVEN AND A HALF POUNDS?! ALREADY?! Good lord, get this kid out of me!
The other thing Beth told me is that she would like me to be "a little softer" before labor starts.
I was devastated! Ive been totally blessed to have this great pregnancy so far with zero complications and everything; blood pressure, heart rate, glucose, measurement, weight gain, etc. has been right on track - "perfect" even. So dont I feel like the big whiner when she gives me one ounce of criticism and I feel crushed!
Its almost the same feeling as when I was in fifth grade taking these standardized tests and Im scoring in the 99 percentile of every category and then I get like an 87% in mathematical comprehension. Being as good or better than 87% of your peers is nothing to blow your nose at, but when you are expecting to excel in the 99% range, its so disappointing!
I was so sad to have fallen short in the cervical softening category! I was expecting her to tell me that I was ahead of schedule, that the baby would just fall out of me when I stood up, that I would have this perfect delivery because I was testing into the 99 percentile for my age group!
In reality (a place I frequent), its no big deal, I should just walk around more and do some other things I wont go into detail about here. In fact, I could probably have the baby just fine the way things are right now. But I want to have a perfectly soft cervix to go along with my perfectly measuring uterus and my perfect blood pressure!
Sadly, babies and baby making isnt like a standardized test. There is no standard. People just have babies and they have them in their own way. In the end, just getting the baby out should be accomplishment enough without the pressure of competition.
And all this esoteric mind jarble just because mom and Granny had to have that stupid measurement that doesnt mean anything!