Today is New Years Eve and we have officially been living in Hawaii for a year.
It's hard to forget the anticipation of last year as we set out into the Pacific hoping for something better. Can I honestly say we found it?
I'm still struggling to solve the problem of being close to my family without living near each other. It's constantly weighing on my mind how I wish we were together and sharing these experiences. How will Ikaika ever feel close to my parents and sisters if we continue to live so far away? Will Skype be able to single handedly resolve these issues?
But Hawaii is always finding ways to remind me that it's a good place for us: weekday afternoons spent relaxing at the beach, walks to the post office where we run into friends around town, and carefree community potlucks after high school football games. I like small town living. My idea of paradise includes no traffic and good food. My idea of a dream vacation is watching a snowfall or a baseball game with brats in Wisconsin.
2009 was one of the most challenging years of my life. Everything was uncertain. But, we stayed positive and flexible, and tried to manage it the best we could. Looking back, I think we did a good job. Despite the insanity and disappointments, I feel so blessed and thankful for what we have accomplished as a family this past year. I'm looking forward to an even better year to come!
If 2009 was the year of new beginnings, 2010 will be the year of rebuilding.
31.12.09
30.12.09
Handmade Christmas Gifts
Here's a selection of some of the gifts that I made for Christmas this year. I'm definitely happy knowing that everyone got something unique.
"I Glove Milwaukie" make up bag for my older sister. She travels a lot for her job and is a die hard Brewers fan. She picked this shirt out for me to wear to the Brewers game during our visit this summer so I knew she liked the design. The lining is Care Bears.
Hawaiian print dish towels for my mom. The fabric is from Vanuatu. I actually didn't like these very much because I used the wrong color thread and the bias binding looks sloppy (in my opinion). But my mom loves them and can't stop talking about them so maybe I'm just being picky.
Embroidered pillow case for my sister-in-law. The patterns are from Sublime Stitching by Jenny Hart. "Moe moe time" means "sleep time" in Hawaiian. Unfortunately, I only had one pillow case but I guess that just leaves the option open for a companion gift next year.
Satin lined pencil case for my college roommate. This is actually lined using some fabric left over from my wedding. The outside is a cow print. She's in grad school and teaching college courses so I would consider this gift somewhat practical.
Hawaiian island chain hoodie for Mr A daughter #2. I really like this one because the islands are on the front (usually they are always on the back of a shirt) and they wrap around the body. I also like the way it works with the zipper. Her Hawaiian name is appliqued down the back shoulder.
Crayon roll up for Mr A daughter #3. Care Bears fabric. I got her the jumbo size crayons and, in retrospect, she's a little old for those. I should have gone with 24 regular crayons instead. I also think that I made the pockets a bit too deep - but, again, maybe I'm just being picky.
I was thinking today how I should probably make one of these for Ikaika. It's so much sturdier than those flimsy boxes and they transport easily in a purse or a diaper bag.
"I Glove Milwaukie" make up bag for my older sister. She travels a lot for her job and is a die hard Brewers fan. She picked this shirt out for me to wear to the Brewers game during our visit this summer so I knew she liked the design. The lining is Care Bears.
Hawaiian print dish towels for my mom. The fabric is from Vanuatu. I actually didn't like these very much because I used the wrong color thread and the bias binding looks sloppy (in my opinion). But my mom loves them and can't stop talking about them so maybe I'm just being picky.
Embroidered pillow case for my sister-in-law. The patterns are from Sublime Stitching by Jenny Hart. "Moe moe time" means "sleep time" in Hawaiian. Unfortunately, I only had one pillow case but I guess that just leaves the option open for a companion gift next year.
Satin lined pencil case for my college roommate. This is actually lined using some fabric left over from my wedding. The outside is a cow print. She's in grad school and teaching college courses so I would consider this gift somewhat practical.
Hawaiian island chain hoodie for Mr A daughter #2. I really like this one because the islands are on the front (usually they are always on the back of a shirt) and they wrap around the body. I also like the way it works with the zipper. Her Hawaiian name is appliqued down the back shoulder.
Crayon roll up for Mr A daughter #3. Care Bears fabric. I got her the jumbo size crayons and, in retrospect, she's a little old for those. I should have gone with 24 regular crayons instead. I also think that I made the pockets a bit too deep - but, again, maybe I'm just being picky.
I was thinking today how I should probably make one of these for Ikaika. It's so much sturdier than those flimsy boxes and they transport easily in a purse or a diaper bag.
29.12.09
Mele Kalikimaka 2009!
Christmas 09 was certainly different from Xmas of the past. Unable to swing plane tickets back to the mainland, we were stranded in Hawaii by ourselves. Seems great in theory...but what fun is Christmas without a big family gathering?! Although Mr A and I certainly made the best of our situation, my holiday wish is to never have another lonely Christmas!
The only things that kept me going were thoughtful packages of presents sent by family members and friends traveling through Big Island who stopped at our place on Christmas Eve for some holiday cheer (and subsequently stayed for a few more days of said cheer).** I was also excited about the idea of Skyping while opening the aforementioned presents, but Skype decided not to work on December 24th and I was understandably bummed.
** expect more details on Carrie & Jan's visit later
The show went on and we opened gifts from Oma, Opa and Aunty Beth even though they weren't watching.
Ikaika wasn't terribly interested in picture taking until there was punching involved!
SISTER PRESENT! Every year, our aunt gets my two sisters and I matching presents. This year it was a purple Nike hoodie. I wore it for two days straight and mourned the absence of Beth and Mo!
The only things that kept me going were thoughtful packages of presents sent by family members and friends traveling through Big Island who stopped at our place on Christmas Eve for some holiday cheer (and subsequently stayed for a few more days of said cheer).** I was also excited about the idea of Skyping while opening the aforementioned presents, but Skype decided not to work on December 24th and I was understandably bummed.
** expect more details on Carrie & Jan's visit later
The show went on and we opened gifts from Oma, Opa and Aunty Beth even though they weren't watching.
Ikaika wasn't terribly interested in picture taking until there was punching involved!
SISTER PRESENT! Every year, our aunt gets my two sisters and I matching presents. This year it was a purple Nike hoodie. I wore it for two days straight and mourned the absence of Beth and Mo!
23.12.09
Surfs Up, Big Island!
Winter is here, which means big waves in Hawaii. Of course, nothing beats North Shore, Oahu. We know that if the waves are pounding on Big Island - North Shore must be nuts! Surfers came out in droves today - lots of college kids home for Christmas break getting their fix of the ocean.
At the beach today, Ikaika played with the regular gaggle of girls (daughters of the other sand volleyball player dads). They shagged balls during warm up and had a silly face contest in the shade.
We headed down to the beach and the girls were impressed with the rough waves.
Ikaika on the other hand clung to my leg and whimpered after one shore break knocked him over.
Although he did get curious enough to relax the death-grip, most of the morning he was either laying in my lap or he was chasing stray volleyballs down in the grass.
21.12.09
The Poop Story
When I gave birth to a baby, I knew this day was coming. I wasn't sure when exactly, but it was in my foreseeable future.
Friday afternoon I heard Ikaika babbling to himself after his nap. I cracked the door to his bedroom open and peeked my head inside, cooing at him in a sing-song voice, "where's my precious ba..."
The smell hit me first.
Then my vision returned.
"WHAT THE FAAAAAA???????!!!!!!"
My son was covered - covered - in poop! On his legs, arms, face, in his hair, on his hands (which were in his mouth....ugggghhhh....). It didn't stop there. The poop was smeared into all four corners of the world, smashed into the quilts, suck in every tiny hole of the mesh that lines the sides of his playpen! The culprit, a discarded diaper, was laying to the side, ironically still clean.
The baby has taken his diaper off before but wet sheets are usually no big deal. He doesn't regularly poop during his nap. Apparently, Friday was the beginning of the end of that. I should have put a cover over the diaper. I should have duct taped it to his body.
The sight of my child happily licking poop off his tiny fingers was almost more than I could bear. Normally, I can handle that kind of thing. Watching kids vomit makes me sick but bathroom stuff I can deal with. This was definitely the exception. I truly did almost throw up.
After a bath and a huge load of laundry I set about the task of dragging the poopy playpen down the stairs of our apartment building and spraying it down with a hose. How gross! Even though I laughed about this story later (a lot later), I was so traumatized in the moment that I didn't even get a picture! I really would enjoy having some evidence of this (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime event.
Friday afternoon I heard Ikaika babbling to himself after his nap. I cracked the door to his bedroom open and peeked my head inside, cooing at him in a sing-song voice, "where's my precious ba..."
The smell hit me first.
Then my vision returned.
"WHAT THE FAAAAAA???????!!!!!!"
My son was covered - covered - in poop! On his legs, arms, face, in his hair, on his hands (which were in his mouth....ugggghhhh....). It didn't stop there. The poop was smeared into all four corners of the world, smashed into the quilts, suck in every tiny hole of the mesh that lines the sides of his playpen! The culprit, a discarded diaper, was laying to the side, ironically still clean.
The baby has taken his diaper off before but wet sheets are usually no big deal. He doesn't regularly poop during his nap. Apparently, Friday was the beginning of the end of that. I should have put a cover over the diaper. I should have duct taped it to his body.
The sight of my child happily licking poop off his tiny fingers was almost more than I could bear. Normally, I can handle that kind of thing. Watching kids vomit makes me sick but bathroom stuff I can deal with. This was definitely the exception. I truly did almost throw up.
After a bath and a huge load of laundry I set about the task of dragging the poopy playpen down the stairs of our apartment building and spraying it down with a hose. How gross! Even though I laughed about this story later (a lot later), I was so traumatized in the moment that I didn't even get a picture! I really would enjoy having some evidence of this (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime event.
17.12.09
What Motherhood Means To Me
While I was sitting on the kitchen floor this morning, my son ran from across the room and jumped in my arms, laughing. He gave me a huge hug, smiled, wiggled out of my arms and turned around to run back to run back the other way. When he reached an acceptable distance he turned around and started the whole process over again.
As this was going on I found myself saying aloud, "Ikaika, mommy can't sit here and do this all morning." But the truth is...I could. Not only that, I wanted to. Something inside me twinged when I heard myself say those words. I instantly knew that they were a fallacy. They were a reflection of my rational mind, the voice that tells me I have laundry to do, a package to mail, dishes to wash. The voice that tells me I need to "do something" to succeed.
Motherhood is what makes me certain that sitting on my kitchen floor with no deadline or objective is undoubtedly going to be the most worthwhile and productive part of my day. It trumps anything else on my to-do list. If you aren't a mother you may think that statement is sad - I certainly would. Coming from an insider, I assure you that motherhood is full of richness and happiness. Every moment of my life has a real purpose. Even on days when I do nothing, I accomplish something profound.
That is what motherhood means to me.
As this was going on I found myself saying aloud, "Ikaika, mommy can't sit here and do this all morning." But the truth is...I could. Not only that, I wanted to. Something inside me twinged when I heard myself say those words. I instantly knew that they were a fallacy. They were a reflection of my rational mind, the voice that tells me I have laundry to do, a package to mail, dishes to wash. The voice that tells me I need to "do something" to succeed.
Motherhood is what makes me certain that sitting on my kitchen floor with no deadline or objective is undoubtedly going to be the most worthwhile and productive part of my day. It trumps anything else on my to-do list. If you aren't a mother you may think that statement is sad - I certainly would. Coming from an insider, I assure you that motherhood is full of richness and happiness. Every moment of my life has a real purpose. Even on days when I do nothing, I accomplish something profound.
That is what motherhood means to me.
STRESS!!!!
Stress is a terrible thing. Take this morning for example.
The new webcam I got so we could "spend the holidays" with our families is NOT WORKING (Ive reinstalled the program twice and it will work sometimes and not others, which makes it all the more evil). The baby is refusing to sit on the potty and destroying all the furiniture I spend an hour and a half child-proofing last night (didn't take into account that he was going to attack the exterior with hard objects). The house is a mess and no matter how many dishes I wash it's not looking any cleaner. The delicious vegetarian sloppy joes I made last night have given me the worst smelling gas imaginable (did you really need to know that?).
Granted, these are all problems that will clearly not be resolved by stressing. If I really want to relax I should just call technical support (which I don't want to do right now so I'm obviously not that deperate for a solution), put a diaper on Ikaika, place all hard objects out of his reach, keep cleaning or possibly go on a walk (so I don't have to acknowledge the mess), and take some bean-o. There you have it - problem solved. No more stress.
The new webcam I got so we could "spend the holidays" with our families is NOT WORKING (Ive reinstalled the program twice and it will work sometimes and not others, which makes it all the more evil). The baby is refusing to sit on the potty and destroying all the furiniture I spend an hour and a half child-proofing last night (didn't take into account that he was going to attack the exterior with hard objects). The house is a mess and no matter how many dishes I wash it's not looking any cleaner. The delicious vegetarian sloppy joes I made last night have given me the worst smelling gas imaginable (did you really need to know that?).
Granted, these are all problems that will clearly not be resolved by stressing. If I really want to relax I should just call technical support (which I don't want to do right now so I'm obviously not that deperate for a solution), put a diaper on Ikaika, place all hard objects out of his reach, keep cleaning or possibly go on a walk (so I don't have to acknowledge the mess), and take some bean-o. There you have it - problem solved. No more stress.
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