This morning I overheard by 2 year old punishing himself. He was shouting at himself (in a really nasty tone) "you go to your room and think about it", "it's time for time-out", "that is a naughty thing to do", etc.
I know he was just role-playing and that it's a healthy part of development, but it made me sad! Do I talk like that?! (I know I say those things, but do I really sound so mean?) Is that just stuck in his little memory? What about all the nice things I say, why doesn't he role-play that?!
I would have been happier if he had said quietly to himself in a calm tone of voice, "honey, I can see you are upset and I am upset too. Maybe you should go to your room and spend some quiet time with yourself for awhile. that's a good boy. I love you."
Yeah right. Apparently, I'm just as much of a nag as the next mom.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
20.4.11
25.3.11
Baby Einstein and TV Morality
I have a library of Baby Einstein videos that were given to me by my aunt. When Ikaika was younger, he watched them when we visited my parents and occasionally when we were at home, but he never really "got into" them. I even thought about passing the videos along now that he's older.
But the other day, when Koa was fussy and I was looking for a distraction, I popped a Baby E DVD in and, to my surprise, Ikaika was thrilled! He was totally captivated. Lately, he's been requesting Baby Einstein in the evenings and I'm all too happy to oblige him. In fact, as I type this, Koa and Ikaika are sitting quietly in the living room, snuggled under blankets, watching Baby Neptune (the one about water).
It surprises me that my 2 1/2 year old would be so into these videos. There's no plot, no dialogue. It's just nice music with colorful pictures. At first, I thought this was strange but I'm starting to grasp how great this is.
We've been watching "kids movies" and "kids shows" with Ikaika. There are plots, characters, jokes, etc. He likes Cars and Toy Story and the Incredibles. But when he's watching them, I can't help but notice how he's absorbing the behaviors, dialogues, and values of these movies - whether I like them or not. My friend doesn't let her kids watch the Incredibles because of the suicide attempt in the beginning ("suicide should not be in my 5 year olds vocabulary") and I was perturbed by Babe, where I felt like the message it was sending about domestic violence was totally not okay.
My 2 year old is old enough to hear and repeat. He's old enough to absorb and act out. But he's not old enough to process, to understand, to filter the good from the bad. I can't be so naive to think that he's enjoying the action/animation while overlooking the violence and/or subtle moral undertones. Even TV shows are sometimes annoyingly influential.
So, we still watch PBS, Disney Jr., Go Diego Go, etc. We watch Disney movies together on family movie night. I'm not going to die on this mountain. But, I'm happy to let him watch morally neutral Baby Einstein and, frankly, I hope it holds his interest for years to come!
But the other day, when Koa was fussy and I was looking for a distraction, I popped a Baby E DVD in and, to my surprise, Ikaika was thrilled! He was totally captivated. Lately, he's been requesting Baby Einstein in the evenings and I'm all too happy to oblige him. In fact, as I type this, Koa and Ikaika are sitting quietly in the living room, snuggled under blankets, watching Baby Neptune (the one about water).
It surprises me that my 2 1/2 year old would be so into these videos. There's no plot, no dialogue. It's just nice music with colorful pictures. At first, I thought this was strange but I'm starting to grasp how great this is.
We've been watching "kids movies" and "kids shows" with Ikaika. There are plots, characters, jokes, etc. He likes Cars and Toy Story and the Incredibles. But when he's watching them, I can't help but notice how he's absorbing the behaviors, dialogues, and values of these movies - whether I like them or not. My friend doesn't let her kids watch the Incredibles because of the suicide attempt in the beginning ("suicide should not be in my 5 year olds vocabulary") and I was perturbed by Babe, where I felt like the message it was sending about domestic violence was totally not okay.
My 2 year old is old enough to hear and repeat. He's old enough to absorb and act out. But he's not old enough to process, to understand, to filter the good from the bad. I can't be so naive to think that he's enjoying the action/animation while overlooking the violence and/or subtle moral undertones. Even TV shows are sometimes annoyingly influential.
So, we still watch PBS, Disney Jr., Go Diego Go, etc. We watch Disney movies together on family movie night. I'm not going to die on this mountain. But, I'm happy to let him watch morally neutral Baby Einstein and, frankly, I hope it holds his interest for years to come!
9.3.11
Mothers of Preschoolers Steering Team
But then I found MOPS and after two years I have made some amazing girlfriends and my kids have made friends, too. Unfortunately, a lot of these moms eventually will move off the island. That probably won't hamper our friendship and there are some moms, like myself, who are here for good. At any rate, MOPS is just what I have been wanting since college - a group of friends to call my own!
This year I took on some leadership in the group by joining the steering team as (brace yourselves) finance director! Haha! Anyone who even sort of knows me and is reading this probably just choked on their beverage of choice. Seriously, I took over the money handling. I did this because I want to be better at managing my own finances and there's no substitute for practical experience. It's been going really well - helps that I use Quickbooks, which is super simple.
The exciting news now is that next year I am taking on even more responsibility, I am going to be a "table leader"! MOPS is great - there is friendship, support, two hours without children, etc. But it's also great because I have an opportunity to volunteer my talents to help others. Without the steering team, there would be no group, and without groups like this, moms like me would still be at home in their 400 sq foot garage wondering are there any other people on this island?
3.3.11
Time Saving Breakfast Tips
Sometimes the simplest ideas take the longest to be realized. Last night, as I stared an enormous bowl of butternut squash puree*, I started thinking about making some breakfast muffins. But it was already 930 and I didn't want to wait around for them to bake. I thought, eh, I'll just make them in the morning. Then I started thinking about how early I would have to wake up for them to be ready by 630 when Mr A eats his breakfast (what is the fun of having morning muffins if no one is home to praise them?!) and that didn't sound like a very smart idea either.
Then I got the brilliant notion of preparing it all ahead of time and just baking it first thing in the morning! So I mixed all the dry ingredients in a ziplock bag, I mixed all the wet ingredients in a bowl and the strussel topping in another bowl. I laid out the muffin tin and the spray oil on top of the stove and went to bed.
First thing in the morning, I turned on the oven, mixed the wet with dry (30 seconds of work), greased the muffin tin (10 second), poured the batter (1 minute) and sprinkled the topping over the muffins (1 minute), then I popped it all into the oven. Less than 30 minutes from the time I got out of bed, we were enjoying warm apple cinnamon muffins! The other bonus was the entire house smelled like a bakery. The super bonus was that the oven warmed the house up slightly (not all hawaii is like "hawaii" but none of the houses have central heating)
Premaking batters and then baking in the morning. A simple idea that took me awhile to figure out. I'm totally doing this with pancake batter over the weekend :)
Then I got the brilliant notion of preparing it all ahead of time and just baking it first thing in the morning! So I mixed all the dry ingredients in a ziplock bag, I mixed all the wet ingredients in a bowl and the strussel topping in another bowl. I laid out the muffin tin and the spray oil on top of the stove and went to bed.
First thing in the morning, I turned on the oven, mixed the wet with dry (30 seconds of work), greased the muffin tin (10 second), poured the batter (1 minute) and sprinkled the topping over the muffins (1 minute), then I popped it all into the oven. Less than 30 minutes from the time I got out of bed, we were enjoying warm apple cinnamon muffins! The other bonus was the entire house smelled like a bakery. The super bonus was that the oven warmed the house up slightly (not all hawaii is like "hawaii" but none of the houses have central heating)
Premaking batters and then baking in the morning. A simple idea that took me awhile to figure out. I'm totally doing this with pancake batter over the weekend :)
1.2.11
Au Pau wit da Keikis
In case you heard church bells chiming and doves being released yesterday - it was probably because Mr A got a vasectomy! After 3 decades of fathering youngsters, my husband finally hung his parenting hat for good. Koa is it. The very last direct recipient of Mr A DNA.
His personal experience, which I won't relate in detail, was nothing short of traumatic. Let's just say that if you are looking for cutting edge technology in medical procedures, Hilo is not the place to find it. He may have had a more comfortable experience if it had been performed in a hotel room...in Mexico. It was that bad.
I can hardly feel sympathetic for him because I got sutures in my most sensitive areas and that was only AFTER pushing out a ginormous baby! And let's not forget that I didn't have the luxury of numbing medication with my first. So, frankly, now we're even.
I still can't believe he did it. Part of me wanted to run into the room and put a stop to it because I might want that third kid someday when life settles down and we are more stable. Another part of me doesn't want that at all. I've got my little pair of monsters and that seems like quite enough. Adoption is always an option if we seriously change our minds, but I doubt we will. The kid ship has sailed.
I know a lot of guys (including my husband) have a weird attachment to their sperm and equate it with virility. Even though they don't logically want more children, they just can't deal with the idea of changing that part of themselves. So I'm really super duper proud of Mr A for making the responsible choice and just getting it done. Hopefully he will serve as an inspiration to men - especially "local" men (older local men)- everywhere.
His personal experience, which I won't relate in detail, was nothing short of traumatic. Let's just say that if you are looking for cutting edge technology in medical procedures, Hilo is not the place to find it. He may have had a more comfortable experience if it had been performed in a hotel room...in Mexico. It was that bad.
I can hardly feel sympathetic for him because I got sutures in my most sensitive areas and that was only AFTER pushing out a ginormous baby! And let's not forget that I didn't have the luxury of numbing medication with my first. So, frankly, now we're even.
I still can't believe he did it. Part of me wanted to run into the room and put a stop to it because I might want that third kid someday when life settles down and we are more stable. Another part of me doesn't want that at all. I've got my little pair of monsters and that seems like quite enough. Adoption is always an option if we seriously change our minds, but I doubt we will. The kid ship has sailed.
I know a lot of guys (including my husband) have a weird attachment to their sperm and equate it with virility. Even though they don't logically want more children, they just can't deal with the idea of changing that part of themselves. So I'm really super duper proud of Mr A for making the responsible choice and just getting it done. Hopefully he will serve as an inspiration to men - especially "local" men (older local men)- everywhere.
28.1.11
My Morning in Photos
...you get the idea.
Needless to say, I can not wait for the New Year, New You MOPS Spa Party tonight!!! I'm making and taking Legendary Nanaimo Bars, because things that are super terrible for you are best eaten in large groups :)
26.1.11
Transition: Old Wine in New Bottles an article by A.S.Halpern
Oh how I love my husband being in grad school! All these interesting articles keep popping up on my desk :)
except from "Transition: Old Wine in New Bottles" by Andrew S. Halpern
"...some interesting aspects of the vocational apprentice program in Germany have received recent public attention from the national syndicated columnist, William Raspberry, who visited these programs along with a contingent of educators from Indiana. He introduces this topic with his perceptions of the haphazard manner in which many American youngsters begin their work careers.
Typically, they leave high school to look for work wherever they can find it - sometimes with help from family friends, sometimes going full time into jobs in which they worked part time during high school. Only after a succession of random jobs, in seems, do they stumble upon something with real career potential - a permanent job with clear prospects for advancement that pays enough to support a family... The delayed transition into adulthood signals to the youngsters that, no matter what we say, there is little real relationship between what they learn in school and their ability to make their way in the world.
...one of the three colums written by Raspberry...raised an interesting companion issue about the role of schools as instuments of social reform...
One of the reasons German youngsters seem more serious than ours is that German schools are more businesslike and career-oriented than ours. While there are exceptions, schools are for those who want to learn something and are not used as day care centers or personality enrichment programs."
HES TALKING ABOUT SPORTS!!! And, really, all extra curricular activities. But, seriously, school without sports?! This Raspberry guy is a nut.
Just kidding. But, seriously, I found myself lying awake in bed last night just digesting all these words. Does this bleak assesment sound exactly like anyone else at 18? ...19? ...23?! As I prepare to find sanctuary in the hallowed grounds of grad school, I have to look back and think that I was either a) always destined to stay in academics or b) my post secondary transition was a sham because I haven't found a way to translate the skill set I got from school into anything useful outside of academics.
Raspberry might have a valid point about how there is little relationship between what we learn in school and surviving in the real world, especially now that there is so much focus on academic performance testing. A 17 year old needs to know how to stay on a budget, or what interest means, how to use a cash register, how to use grocery coupons, or how to deal with people in a professional way. Science class isn't teaching you that! And how many high school graduates are going on to be scientists anyway? We've become (myself included) snobby about college prep academics and have left the majority of kids totally unprepared to transition into the world with any kind of direction.
So, like I said, I'm really enjoying my husband's new wealth of brain candy. Keeps me critical of the choices I'm making in life and gives me more direction for what to do about my own kids since the Dept of Education probably isn't going to jump on this anytime soon.
except from "Transition: Old Wine in New Bottles" by Andrew S. Halpern
"...some interesting aspects of the vocational apprentice program in Germany have received recent public attention from the national syndicated columnist, William Raspberry, who visited these programs along with a contingent of educators from Indiana. He introduces this topic with his perceptions of the haphazard manner in which many American youngsters begin their work careers.
Typically, they leave high school to look for work wherever they can find it - sometimes with help from family friends, sometimes going full time into jobs in which they worked part time during high school. Only after a succession of random jobs, in seems, do they stumble upon something with real career potential - a permanent job with clear prospects for advancement that pays enough to support a family... The delayed transition into adulthood signals to the youngsters that, no matter what we say, there is little real relationship between what they learn in school and their ability to make their way in the world.
...one of the three colums written by Raspberry...raised an interesting companion issue about the role of schools as instuments of social reform...
One of the reasons German youngsters seem more serious than ours is that German schools are more businesslike and career-oriented than ours. While there are exceptions, schools are for those who want to learn something and are not used as day care centers or personality enrichment programs."
HES TALKING ABOUT SPORTS!!! And, really, all extra curricular activities. But, seriously, school without sports?! This Raspberry guy is a nut.
Just kidding. But, seriously, I found myself lying awake in bed last night just digesting all these words. Does this bleak assesment sound exactly like anyone else at 18? ...19? ...23?! As I prepare to find sanctuary in the hallowed grounds of grad school, I have to look back and think that I was either a) always destined to stay in academics or b) my post secondary transition was a sham because I haven't found a way to translate the skill set I got from school into anything useful outside of academics.
Raspberry might have a valid point about how there is little relationship between what we learn in school and surviving in the real world, especially now that there is so much focus on academic performance testing. A 17 year old needs to know how to stay on a budget, or what interest means, how to use a cash register, how to use grocery coupons, or how to deal with people in a professional way. Science class isn't teaching you that! And how many high school graduates are going on to be scientists anyway? We've become (myself included) snobby about college prep academics and have left the majority of kids totally unprepared to transition into the world with any kind of direction.
So, like I said, I'm really enjoying my husband's new wealth of brain candy. Keeps me critical of the choices I'm making in life and gives me more direction for what to do about my own kids since the Dept of Education probably isn't going to jump on this anytime soon.
12.11.10
Operation Christmas Child MOPS Charity Event
Today was a MOPS event for Operation Christmas Child. This is a national Christian charity project where you stuff a shoebox with toys, school supplies, hygiene things, etc. and send those boxes to less fortunate (is that the PC term for "poor"?) kids around the world. For some kids, it's their first experience of Christmas - not just the gifts, but the whole Christ part of Christ-mas.
We had so many donations this year! We stuffed at least 25 and probably could have done more but we ran out of boxes! Everyone was very generous with their donations. Some of these items were nicer than what I buy my own kids for Xmas. See that basketball? Oh yeah...I donated that.
Here's what the boxes look like when they are all ready to go. There are three different age groups to choose from and you can pack it for either a boy or a girl. That way 14 year old boys aren't getting hello kitty lip balm for Christmas :)
Starbucks, a faithful supporter of MOPS, donated this ten cup jug for our packing party. Thanks! I think this little to-go thing is so cute, too.
Ikaika, of course, had a blast playing with his little friends all morning while we packed boxes. Yesterday, when we were shopping for stuff in WalMart, I kept explaining to him that all these toys and toothbrushes were going to little kids who didn't have as much as we did. I don't know if he got it, but it made me feel good to be able to involve him in a service project - since I strongly believe that is what the holidays are all about. Ikaika liked picking things out and I let him draw in the cards that we packed inside the boxes.
Do you like the sweater vest? It helps to counteract the crazy hair he's had going on lately. Thanks, Granny.
Oh Koa. You very desperately needed a nap after all that excitement this morning!
4.11.10
My List of What I Will Be Able To Do Someday
- go to the beach
- see a movie at a movie theatre
- browse slowly through the thirft store
- go somewhere without having to open the back door to get the baby out
- take a class at the university
- nap without being half awake listening for "mommy! shi shi!"
- read a book at Starbucks
- go to an athletic event and actually pay attention to whats going on
- wear dresses that zip up the back
- leave the house for more than 4 hours without wondering how the baby will eat
31.10.10
Long Distance Realtionships
A good friend told me today that she is moving to Egypt in December which, of course, made me sad. But, it also made me reflect for a moment on my own life. Both she and her husband are in the hospitality industry and, as such, expect to be moving every few years. When Mr A and I moved to Hawaii, we really intended for this to be our last major move. We committed to raising our family here and, with the exception of possibly moving to Oahu at some point, have no intention of going anywhere else. This move was not a temporary thing.
I always joke that it was either here or Wisconsin and that I could adjust more easily to paradise than Mr A could to the Midwest. Sometimes I question our decision. I am far away from my family, which is hard - both emotionally and financially since I think it's necessary to travel and be with them at least once or twice a year. We don't have any family here. We have friends, but it's not the same. I wonder if I can really live the rest of my life feeling so isolated.
But then I see my kids enjoying their life here. I see the community we are a part of. I see how accessible their culture is here. I know that my family will always be there for the boys and that we will all work together to make sure they know and understand their roots - their mainland roots. I know that my parents will welcome them in during summer vacation so they can go to CYO camp and do other activities that were significant to me growing up. I don't think they would have that kind of a relationship with Hawaii if we weren't living here. I don't think they could understand it with the same depth if they were learning it vicariously through their dad.
So maybe the irony is that because I have such a close knit family, we are able to live great distances apart.
It was strange listening to my friend talk about her upcoming move and realizing that I am where I am...at least for now.
I always joke that it was either here or Wisconsin and that I could adjust more easily to paradise than Mr A could to the Midwest. Sometimes I question our decision. I am far away from my family, which is hard - both emotionally and financially since I think it's necessary to travel and be with them at least once or twice a year. We don't have any family here. We have friends, but it's not the same. I wonder if I can really live the rest of my life feeling so isolated.
But then I see my kids enjoying their life here. I see the community we are a part of. I see how accessible their culture is here. I know that my family will always be there for the boys and that we will all work together to make sure they know and understand their roots - their mainland roots. I know that my parents will welcome them in during summer vacation so they can go to CYO camp and do other activities that were significant to me growing up. I don't think they would have that kind of a relationship with Hawaii if we weren't living here. I don't think they could understand it with the same depth if they were learning it vicariously through their dad.
So maybe the irony is that because I have such a close knit family, we are able to live great distances apart.
It was strange listening to my friend talk about her upcoming move and realizing that I am where I am...at least for now.
21.10.10
Too Many Clothes!
There comes a point where we must admit that we have too many clothes for our kids! At least I have too many clothes for my kids.
Kekoa is almost out of newborn size. He's right on the cusp. I was sorting through their closet today and I came to realize a number of things.
1) Certain things Ikaika has been wearing for almost a year now. Other sizes will come and go but one or two shirts just keep sticking around. Does this mean that at one point they are huge and at another they are skin tight? Probably. Just makes me wonder why I don't buy all things in that certain size that seems to transcend growth.
2) My kids wear the same ten things over and over again. There are sleepers Kekoa hasn't even worn yet and there are sleepers he seems to wear every other day. Why do I have the other stuff? I should keep a few things around for an emergency, but it would save me gads of space if I just donated the clothes they honestly don't wear.
3) On that same train of thought, the ten things are different for each boy. I saved all my favorite things that Ikaika wore all the time. Oddly, Koa hardly wears those items. He wears new stuff or other outfits that I overlooked before. So, darling family, feel free to keep the clothes coming - one of your picks just might be a winner!
4) I am emotionally attached to my boy's clothes. I have been considering a quilt project that would utilize my favorites from the boys collection. That way I could snuggle up to their adorable baby clothes for the rest of my life. So now, when I sort through their clothes I have 3 piles: one is for donating, the other is for sending to my sister for whenever she decides to have kids, and the third is for cutting out squares for my quilt project.
5) Even though we only added one child to the house, the amount of laundry I wash and fold has quadrupled.
Kekoa is almost out of newborn size. He's right on the cusp. I was sorting through their closet today and I came to realize a number of things.
1) Certain things Ikaika has been wearing for almost a year now. Other sizes will come and go but one or two shirts just keep sticking around. Does this mean that at one point they are huge and at another they are skin tight? Probably. Just makes me wonder why I don't buy all things in that certain size that seems to transcend growth.
2) My kids wear the same ten things over and over again. There are sleepers Kekoa hasn't even worn yet and there are sleepers he seems to wear every other day. Why do I have the other stuff? I should keep a few things around for an emergency, but it would save me gads of space if I just donated the clothes they honestly don't wear.
3) On that same train of thought, the ten things are different for each boy. I saved all my favorite things that Ikaika wore all the time. Oddly, Koa hardly wears those items. He wears new stuff or other outfits that I overlooked before. So, darling family, feel free to keep the clothes coming - one of your picks just might be a winner!
4) I am emotionally attached to my boy's clothes. I have been considering a quilt project that would utilize my favorites from the boys collection. That way I could snuggle up to their adorable baby clothes for the rest of my life. So now, when I sort through their clothes I have 3 piles: one is for donating, the other is for sending to my sister for whenever she decides to have kids, and the third is for cutting out squares for my quilt project.
5) Even though we only added one child to the house, the amount of laundry I wash and fold has quadrupled.
Both are outfits that I love. Beth, you will be getting these.
8.9.10
Tea for Two
As I was staging Ikaika's room for our latest addition (Mr A's daughter is moving to Hawaii and living with us until she gets settled into her own routine), I couldn't help but think about how someday - someday soon - this will be the status quo. Two beds. Two boys. Two kids. Wow.
Seems crowded in a 2 bedroom apartment with 5 people, huh? Luckily, we just signed the lease on our new place. A house! A house with a yard and a carport so I don't have to spend three hours every morning struggling to keep Ikaika quiet! The best part is that it's a stones throw from where we live now so nothing about our routine changes. This is incredible considering nothing good usually comes up in town and, when it does, its normally way out of our price range. We are moving in this weekend (hopefully) and I could not be more excited!
Seems crowded in a 2 bedroom apartment with 5 people, huh? Luckily, we just signed the lease on our new place. A house! A house with a yard and a carport so I don't have to spend three hours every morning struggling to keep Ikaika quiet! The best part is that it's a stones throw from where we live now so nothing about our routine changes. This is incredible considering nothing good usually comes up in town and, when it does, its normally way out of our price range. We are moving in this weekend (hopefully) and I could not be more excited!
30.8.10
Taking Care of Two Kids
Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe my feelings of lately. I had no idea it was going to be this challenging.
The old adage "sleep when your kids sleep" only applies if they both sleep at the same time. My kids appear to tag-team the sleep thing.
Koa is too small and new to be out and about in the windy/chilly/drizzly weather of Waimea. But Ikaika is too big and energetic to be confined to our small apartment all day.
Ikaika has also phased into the "terrible twos" overnight. Nothing says frustrating like having to interrupt breastfeeding 6 or 7 times in order to put a toddler in time out, again.
As if I didn't have enough to worry about, I also seem to be having a periodic life crisis. This is the time when I start to wonder what I'm going to do with my life and reflect on how I haven't done enough and how everyone else is so accomplished and here I am, enjoying life but not really contributing anything of value to society. Boo hoo.
Of course, I was spoiled for the first month. I had Mr A home for several days until my mom swooped in and took over helping. Now I'm struggling to hit my stride. I need to figure out the rhythm. Ikaika and I had a good thing going - we had a schedule that worked for both of us and was fairly consistent. Koa threw a cog in the wheel and I haven't been able to quite figure out how to balance it all yet. A two-year-olds needs, a newborns needs, the needs of the house, the needs of my husband and - MOST IMPORTANT - the needs of myself. Good lord, it took me 4 hours today just to figure out how I was going to get dressed and eat!
Let me say this - I have learned from the experience of others that it is necessary for mommy to be somewhat selfish. If I'm not taking care of myself, how can I take care of everyone else? If I don't take the time or make the time to rest, eat, and treat myself I am going to end up a hot mess of frazzled nerves. I'll be screaming at Kaika, not making enough milk for Koa and bitching at Mr A every time he walks through the door.
On that note, I am going to go enjoy my hot tea and hop on the stationary bike...after I make Ikaika some lunch.
The old adage "sleep when your kids sleep" only applies if they both sleep at the same time. My kids appear to tag-team the sleep thing.
Koa is too small and new to be out and about in the windy/chilly/drizzly weather of Waimea. But Ikaika is too big and energetic to be confined to our small apartment all day.
Ikaika has also phased into the "terrible twos" overnight. Nothing says frustrating like having to interrupt breastfeeding 6 or 7 times in order to put a toddler in time out, again.
As if I didn't have enough to worry about, I also seem to be having a periodic life crisis. This is the time when I start to wonder what I'm going to do with my life and reflect on how I haven't done enough and how everyone else is so accomplished and here I am, enjoying life but not really contributing anything of value to society. Boo hoo.
Of course, I was spoiled for the first month. I had Mr A home for several days until my mom swooped in and took over helping. Now I'm struggling to hit my stride. I need to figure out the rhythm. Ikaika and I had a good thing going - we had a schedule that worked for both of us and was fairly consistent. Koa threw a cog in the wheel and I haven't been able to quite figure out how to balance it all yet. A two-year-olds needs, a newborns needs, the needs of the house, the needs of my husband and - MOST IMPORTANT - the needs of myself. Good lord, it took me 4 hours today just to figure out how I was going to get dressed and eat!
Let me say this - I have learned from the experience of others that it is necessary for mommy to be somewhat selfish. If I'm not taking care of myself, how can I take care of everyone else? If I don't take the time or make the time to rest, eat, and treat myself I am going to end up a hot mess of frazzled nerves. I'll be screaming at Kaika, not making enough milk for Koa and bitching at Mr A every time he walks through the door.
On that note, I am going to go enjoy my hot tea and hop on the stationary bike...after I make Ikaika some lunch.
7.8.10
Happy Birthday, Koa!
CURTIS KEKOAOKAMAKUA ARRAYAN
...or just Koa for short...
born August 6, 2010
9:04am
9:04am
5lbs 14oz
19 inches
19 inches
5.8.10
Top 5 Favorite Baby Products
I got a request to do a post about my favorite baby products. I've done a similar post in the past but we will start fresh with a Top 5...
1) The Ergo Baby Carrier
I've said it before and I'll say it again - this is the best carrier out there. Easy on the body, babies love it, Hawaii-based business - what's not to love?!
2) Dr Bronners Baby Mild Liquid Soap
Just check out the ingredients list (taken from their website). Nothing even remotely questionable and its sudsy goodness will keep baby squeaky clean. A $15 bottle might last you their entire childhood. This soap is also great for washing bottles, nipples, baby clothes, etc!
My kid was super gassy when he was an infant and these bottles did the trick. I like the little cleaning brush that comes with them, too - works like a charm for sippy cup spouts.
4) Shaklee Multi Vitamins (Incredivites)
Shaklee is the only vitamin we would ever allow in this house. The vitamin world is a scary place of uncontrolled, largely unregulated mass production. Shaklee vitamins are made in their own facility, strictly tested, and manufactured at low temps to preserve bioactivity that science simply can not recreate.
I would argue for the importance of supplementing kids diets, and not just the picky eaters. Once my kid stopped breastfeeding we started mashing Incredivites into his food. Now he eats them with his breakfast and he begs for them throughout the day (probably thinks they are candy). And, unlike a lot of children's vitamins (including the uber popular gummy variety), they don't contain anything that would contribute to tooth decay.
5) Blue Sucky Ball Thing
1) The Ergo Baby Carrier
I've said it before and I'll say it again - this is the best carrier out there. Easy on the body, babies love it, Hawaii-based business - what's not to love?!
2) Dr Bronners Baby Mild Liquid Soap
Just check out the ingredients list (taken from their website). Nothing even remotely questionable and its sudsy goodness will keep baby squeaky clean. A $15 bottle might last you their entire childhood. This soap is also great for washing bottles, nipples, baby clothes, etc!
"INGREDIENTS:3) Dr Browns Bottles
Water, Organic Coconut Oil*, Potassium Hydroxide**, Organic Olive Oil*, Organic Hemp Oil, Organic Jojoba Oil, Citric Acid, Tocopherol
* CERTIFIED FAIR TRADE INGREDIENTS
** None remains after saponifying oils into soap and glycerin"
My kid was super gassy when he was an infant and these bottles did the trick. I like the little cleaning brush that comes with them, too - works like a charm for sippy cup spouts.
4) Shaklee Multi Vitamins (Incredivites)
Shaklee is the only vitamin we would ever allow in this house. The vitamin world is a scary place of uncontrolled, largely unregulated mass production. Shaklee vitamins are made in their own facility, strictly tested, and manufactured at low temps to preserve bioactivity that science simply can not recreate.
I would argue for the importance of supplementing kids diets, and not just the picky eaters. Once my kid stopped breastfeeding we started mashing Incredivites into his food. Now he eats them with his breakfast and he begs for them throughout the day (probably thinks they are candy). And, unlike a lot of children's vitamins (including the uber popular gummy variety), they don't contain anything that would contribute to tooth decay.
5) Blue Sucky Ball Thing
Oh man, I love this thing. There are fancier varieties out there but nothing comes close to the classic original. Any and all runny noses should be approached with this tool. It prevents raw, red noses from constant wiping. It can remove a gallon of snot with just one squeeze. I might still be using this when they hit kindergarten.
30.6.10
3 Years of Us
19.6.10
Happy Father's Day!
We celebrated Father's Day today. First we went to the park and the boys golfed. Notice the match-match outfits. ***So precious***
Ikaika has really been jammin' with his plastic golf set. He's able to get loft with that "iron", although I'm not sure how.
Then we went to our favorite hole-in-the-wall, Hawaiian Style Cafe.
So delicious, so cheap, so much food! Mr A dined on the veal cutlet and I got the pineapple sausage with eggs.
I was totally content with the first plate and then these massive pancakes arrived. I knew I was in trouble.
After lunch I dropped the devoted father of my children off at the day spa for a foot scrub, massage, and ice cream dessert. To preserve his masculinity I decided not to photograph him in the pedicure chair.
Happy Father's Day, Mr A. You NO KA OI!
(...but Ikaika still knows who's the boss!)
Ikaika has really been jammin' with his plastic golf set. He's able to get loft with that "iron", although I'm not sure how.
Then we went to our favorite hole-in-the-wall, Hawaiian Style Cafe.
So delicious, so cheap, so much food! Mr A dined on the veal cutlet and I got the pineapple sausage with eggs.
I was totally content with the first plate and then these massive pancakes arrived. I knew I was in trouble.
After lunch I dropped the devoted father of my children off at the day spa for a foot scrub, massage, and ice cream dessert. To preserve his masculinity I decided not to photograph him in the pedicure chair.
Happy Father's Day, Mr A. You NO KA OI!
(...but Ikaika still knows who's the boss!)
15.6.10
Staying Home With My Children: Reflections on my Childcare Choices
The best part about our trip to the Northwest, what I now miss the most, was having my parents and grandparents around to watch the baby! It seems awful to say, but it was so nice to get away from him.
One day I went to acupuncture and then, just for the hell of it, I stopped by the mall. I was browsing in the Japanese dollar store for almost 45 minutes, just walking around and poking at things. I even went to the ballet and truly enjoyed it, instead of spending 3 hours obsessing about whether or not my kid was okay.
Mr A and I went to see a movie on my birthday. We walked the streets of downtown hand-in-hand and saw a movie at 5 in the afternoon. Even though I love spending our time together as a family, experiencing the joys of parenthood and what-not, being alone was unexpectedly amazing! It was a time to be focused on each other instead of being mutually focused on Ikaika.
These simple pleasures are almost unknown to my current self. My husband and I made a conscious decision to be with our children. We both agreed that it's the way we grew up and it's what we want for our own family. But, I have to admit, sometimes it gets overwhelming. Sometimes it seems like we will always be on their time. Sometimes I wish like hell that we had some family here with us in Hawaii so we could regularly free ourselves from being "mom and dad".
Sooner than I care to believe our boys will be grown and they won't want to spend all day with us. Or even half the day. Soon enough I will be longing for the days we spent together as a family. I will be yearning for my children and they will be anywhere but here. And this is probably what makes me believe that our neurotic approach to childcare is worth what we are sacrificing for it.
Even so, you can't even begin to imagine how much I am looking forward to my sister visiting in September!
One day I went to acupuncture and then, just for the hell of it, I stopped by the mall. I was browsing in the Japanese dollar store for almost 45 minutes, just walking around and poking at things. I even went to the ballet and truly enjoyed it, instead of spending 3 hours obsessing about whether or not my kid was okay.
Mr A and I went to see a movie on my birthday. We walked the streets of downtown hand-in-hand and saw a movie at 5 in the afternoon. Even though I love spending our time together as a family, experiencing the joys of parenthood and what-not, being alone was unexpectedly amazing! It was a time to be focused on each other instead of being mutually focused on Ikaika.
These simple pleasures are almost unknown to my current self. My husband and I made a conscious decision to be with our children. We both agreed that it's the way we grew up and it's what we want for our own family. But, I have to admit, sometimes it gets overwhelming. Sometimes it seems like we will always be on their time. Sometimes I wish like hell that we had some family here with us in Hawaii so we could regularly free ourselves from being "mom and dad".
Sooner than I care to believe our boys will be grown and they won't want to spend all day with us. Or even half the day. Soon enough I will be longing for the days we spent together as a family. I will be yearning for my children and they will be anywhere but here. And this is probably what makes me believe that our neurotic approach to childcare is worth what we are sacrificing for it.
Even so, you can't even begin to imagine how much I am looking forward to my sister visiting in September!
24.5.10
Keeping the Quality Time Fresh
Mr A and I have been in a quality time rut. Either one or both of us is super tired in the evening and lately it's been easier to just veg out in front of the tube rather than thinking of anything to "do" together. But, spending quality time with a spouse is important. Not only to connect and touch base on the day, but also to relieve stress and have fun. The best part about being married, in my opinion, is having someone to do stuff with - talk to, play cards, cook, etc.
Last night we shook things up and did a puzzle. Just a 300 piece (thanks Mom), but it was so much fun! I can't wait until our kids are old enough that we can all do puzzles together (as if they are going to want to sit around and do puzzles with their nerdy parents).
We ran into a slight problem. There are 5 pieces left and we can not figure out how they fit! Some other pieces must be wrong - but which ones?!
6.5.10
Mr A's Pineapple Upside Down Cake
My wonderful, talented husband can bake!!!
If you've been tracking me on twitter you already know that I've been baking like crazy lately (and I only tweet a small percentage of the madness...it's frightening). Awhile ago, Mr A insisted to me that he bakes. The man can cook a mean pot of chicken, but in the last 5 years I have never once seen him produce a single cookie, muffin, or bread!
So, I used bribery to deliver the goods. I promised him a 15 minute back massage if he could bake me something that is both delicious and relatively good-for-you (no boxed mixes here, buddy!). He came up with a whole wheat pineapple upside down cake! Delightful! Perfect with a cool glass of vanilla soy milk! I don't know if this picture does it justice...trust me - it's awesome!
Guess it's time to stretch the fingers and bust out the kukui oil...
If you've been tracking me on twitter you already know that I've been baking like crazy lately (and I only tweet a small percentage of the madness...it's frightening). Awhile ago, Mr A insisted to me that he bakes. The man can cook a mean pot of chicken, but in the last 5 years I have never once seen him produce a single cookie, muffin, or bread!
So, I used bribery to deliver the goods. I promised him a 15 minute back massage if he could bake me something that is both delicious and relatively good-for-you (no boxed mixes here, buddy!). He came up with a whole wheat pineapple upside down cake! Delightful! Perfect with a cool glass of vanilla soy milk! I don't know if this picture does it justice...trust me - it's awesome!
Guess it's time to stretch the fingers and bust out the kukui oil...
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