While I was sitting on the kitchen floor this morning, my son ran from across the room and jumped in my arms, laughing. He gave me a huge hug, smiled, wiggled out of my arms and turned around to run back to run back the other way. When he reached an acceptable distance he turned around and started the whole process over again.
As this was going on I found myself saying aloud, "Ikaika, mommy can't sit here and do this all morning." But the truth is...I could. Not only that, I wanted to. Something inside me twinged when I heard myself say those words. I instantly knew that they were a fallacy. They were a reflection of my rational mind, the voice that tells me I have laundry to do, a package to mail, dishes to wash. The voice that tells me I need to "do something" to succeed.
Motherhood is what makes me certain that sitting on my kitchen floor with no deadline or objective is undoubtedly going to be the most worthwhile and productive part of my day. It trumps anything else on my to-do list. If you aren't a mother you may think that statement is sad - I certainly would. Coming from an insider, I assure you that motherhood is full of richness and happiness. Every moment of my life has a real purpose. Even on days when I do nothing, I accomplish something profound.
That is what motherhood means to me.
You're doing a great job as a mother! Just take each day as it comes and do what you can. I'm sure there are worse things than a messy house and undone errands. It's a beautiful time of year to enjoy what you got!
ReplyDeleteLove you! And, let's chat on skype anytime.
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