...you have my permission to punch me in the face.

When I was a child and we were stuck in some kind of stalemate, my parents would say "you'll understand someday when you have children." I approve of this tactic and will use it liberally with my own child/ren.

That being said, when an adult (most often a woman) uses it with another adult (most often me), this is not only highly offensive but also extremely annoying. Its mind boggling to me how these people seem to be under the impression that squirting out a kid, no matter the conditions, puts them in some sort of a position where they dont have to come up with any sort of reasonable or rational explanation for their behavior!

Im sure that having a kid is a life changing experience. Im not arguing that point. But going to college is a life changing experience and Im not running around, waving my degree in other peoples faces, telling them that they might understand why I feel self righteous about this that or the other thing if only they would graduate from college someday. Because people who say things like that are total morons with, ironically, very little perspective.

There is also the equally annoying but possibly more contemptuous "you cant understand because you dont have children." That one pisses me off just typing it.

I hope that having children is the ne plus ultra of my life. I hope that I give and gain and all that junk. I sincerely hope that I learn more from being a mother than from anything else I do in my life. But, even with all that in mind, I really dont want to start being "that lady" who pushes my agenda onto other people and treats them as if they are somehow incapable of relating to me as a human being just because they dont have kids.

I am so different from 10... 5... 2 years ago! I dont know what Im going to be like in the future. But I do know that Im pretty darn sure I dont want to end up as "that lady". So Im writing this down as a testament to my pre-child mindset (which I would argue is quite clear and probably less biased than my mindset after I give birth to the most wonderful and perfect child in the history of all mankind) and I am telling you, my friends and family, that if you EVER catch me uttering these ridiculous phrases instead of giving logic (or at least BS) the ole college try, you have my permission to punch me in the face.