Writing a Resume STINKS!

I blog, so it's obvious I like writing.  

But writing a resume sucks.  I hate doing it.  Every brutal minute is spent hemming, hawing, groaning and moaning.  

The reasons I dislike it so much are plentiful.  The nature of it is totally pretentious.  It requires that I qualify everything I've ever done through arbitrary, yet ridiculously specific numbers (as if anyone tracks that stuff on a regular basis).  The way you write it can make the exact same work appear either obscenely profound or completely mundane.  It makes me realize that having 10+ jobs in the past 10 years is a huge no-no/pain in the ass to talk about.  And it's boring.  It's a boring thing to hammer out in Microsoft Word.

I've done a great many things in my adult life and participated in a great many activities both paid and volunteer.  One would think this is spectacular thing, but when it comes to writing a resume, I probably just come off as completely scattered and non-committal.  

Please, please, let this torture be over soon...